My Taint
by B.U.G.I.M.S
Summary: On a cold wintry day, Naruto finds himself alone, and ponders...something random that struck me one day


_God, I feel like I'm going to die. That look in his eye...it was too familiar. Like everyone else I've ever met here, his eyes were filled with the desire to kill, absolute hate...They say that eyes are the windows to a person's soul, what does that tell you? That his very essence rejects me. Sasuke. Not that it matters much, but still...it hurts._

_I don't think I can keep running anymore, the air filling my lungs feels like shards of ice. Ice so cold it burns...the world is covered in it...snow, that is. The trees are frozen and dead, so much like me...I can't feel my hands anymore._

_I've always loved snow, so pure, so white. So non-judgmental. It doesn't care what it falls on, it covers everything in a blanket of deadly silence. Cleansing, I think the word is. Snow cleanses the world of all its impurities. And yet, the flakes are never the same...so each cold death is unique for the individual crystals. _

_I've slowed to a walk...although, my movement isn't as graceful as such, more like stumbling, as a child seperated from its mother would. I think I'm lost. Oh no, I can find my way back to my house, but that's not what I'm talking about, now is it? _

_Now I'm in the middle of a....field? Plain? It's all the same...I've marred the purity with my steps, as I can see behind me. Why is the ground coming up to my face so fast-? Oh. I think I may have fallen. I can barely move, but I manage to hoist myself into a kneeling position. Heh, I've left another mark on the pristine whiteness. It's still white, of course, but the shadows play tricks. Shadows....they're so different in the snow. They're not black or gray....but blue. Shadows....mine isn't that of a fox in this wonderland, it's a small huddled form...shh, there there.....it'll be alright. I try to comfort that shape, but when I touch it, it melts away. Poor thing, all alone._

_I try crawling towards a boulder, to try to block this chilled breath that seems to delight in my torment. A few flakes land in my hair, blown from the ground. Ah, salvation. Not much of one, but I can't afford to be choosy. The wind no longer bites at my face, and I must say I'm grateful for that. The rock isn't all that comfortable, but good enough to lean against. My legs are numb._

_Heh...look, isn't it pretty? The red soaking into the snow....it's not so pure now, is it? It's stained....tainted. Tainted by me. I seem to do that a lot, taint things. People. I can't touch them for fear of spreading my disease, this illness known as loneliness. I know, I know that if they associate with me they too will be stained and ostricized._

_Blood...it's a sharp contrast to my blinding surroundings. My blood...drawn just a few hours ago, by the one I term 'friend'. The only person to whom I don't have to worry about spreading to, he's far too loved. Loved, what's it like to be? To have others worry over your welfare, to have them look at you with eyes of tenderness...? But I digress. It was training. At least, that's what it was supposed to be. We all went through the usual banter, but something was bothering the dark haired wonder._

_They call him dark, isn't that odd? I find it hillarious how others can make themselves see so many shadows behind such a small person. He has seen blood, most assuredly....but he hasn't SEEN blood. You haven't SEEN blood until you have been bathed in it, forced to breathe it, seen it spill from countless beings, human and non. My shadows are filled with it. Maybe that's another reason I like snow...blue is, after all, the opposite of red. Dreams are the worst...Chakra carries memories too, you know. And this fox has lived a long time, fought many people, and has enjoyed all of its enemies' blood. Lucky me, I got to relive it all._

_I can't feel my arms, is that bad? I think I still have a few knives lodged in my hip...at least I can't feel anything below my navel. I guess that one little victory over Uchiha was enough to set him off...His mindset was such, so that if a person, and yes I consider myself a person, were to draw his UCHIHA blood, he must, and this is a powerful must, return the injury one hundred times over. So I sit here, lying against a cold, uncomfortable boulder, sitting in the freezing snow, with assorted knives puncturing various parts of my person, and sporting at least five large gashes on my torso. _

_I pick wonderful people to be my friends._

_Now I have a large puddle of this wonderful red substance surrounding me....it's melted most of the snow, and certain areas are a tad pinkish. I've never liked pink, to tell you the truth. Red is a deeper, darker colour, fitted to my shadows, huh? Ah yes, I have many shadows...most of which will never be seen. Of that I am glad, shadows frighten me. So much can be concealed in them, hidden from me...not that I don't appreciate that, some things I don't want to see. I've seen too much as it is._

_I see that some of the smaller wounds have healed themselves, courtesy of the fox no doubt. Honestly though, it's not like Sasuke to miss when he's trying. He missed my heart and throat by several inches. Sloppy. Although, I suppose his reluctance to kill me was in part generated by Kakashi's presence; it wouldn't do well to kill your teammate in front of that man. Though, he made no move to stop him from at least TRYING to gut me, now did he? Not that I particularly care, but it's rather unprofessional for a sensei to let his student attempt homicide, you know?_

_I can't feel my face. Oh, I can still blink. With one eye, anyway, the other seems to be glued shut with blood. It's annoying. Like Sakura's voice....she's smart, determined, and cunning alright, but her voice is for the birds. Birds like seagulls. Heh heh heh....I can just imagine a flock of gulls chasing after that Uchiha idiot squaking out "Sasuke-kun!" Heh heh heh...Hm, I think I've coughed out some blood. The warmth from it is making my chin tingle._

_Isn't this odd? I think I'm dying, yet I'm perfectly calm. Huh. What ho, snow crunching? I think something, or someone, not that I'd count on it, is out there. By the sounds of it it's coming nearer. I wonder if it's a wolf, or maybe a large dog. The sounds indicate something of that weight range, anyway. It's a strain to open my one good eye -when did I close it?- but when I do, I must say I'm surprised to see the very same person who inflicted my wounds!_

_My my, Sasuke, is that worry? Wipe the very thought of it from your face, my friend, it doesn't suit you. Oh no, don't look at me like that. I can't feel a thing, really. Well, breathing has a rather nasty sting accompanying it, but it's nothing to be bothered by. Heh...your eyes, they're so different. What happened to the loathing? You'll need to keep that to sleep at night, you know. Because you and I are as close to kin as it gets. And murdering kin is one of the greatest sins. Oh, I doubt you'll burn in hell, devils are probably just as enamoured with you as the rest of the damn world. _

_No, don't bother lifting me. There's nothing to be done, you see. What's that? I'm crying? Well. Blow me over. Heh...this is all quite funny, don't you agree? Yes, yes, you say I'm your best friend and I can't die. Sasuke, I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, but everyone can die. I'm very sorry, my friend, it seems I have found a way to taint you as well. The only safe one to touch. Stop that, screaming for Kakashi won't change anything. _

_I can't feel anything now...not even my chest moving. Come to think of it, I can't seem to see either. What a way to die, huh? Well, at least it was by the hand of a friend. I suppose I should tell you that. I force my lungs to expand one more time._

_"Sasuke...thank you for being my friend." I seem to be getting warmer. Is that normal? I feel like I'm floating...I can't see anything, but...white. Like snow. _


End file.
